|
Post by Holly Cleary on Jul 29, 2011 22:38:29 GMT -7
It was the first time he had initiated contact that Holly hadn’t flinched, and it was a telling sign- she trusted him. She wasn’t by any means quite ready to go to bed with him, but maybe, someday, she might be. It was the boldest she had felt in a long time, and it felt… great.
She returned the kiss tentatively at first, as if she didn’t quite remember what to do- but she caught on quickly enough. Finally she pulled away, looking up at him before offering a small smile, her flushed cheeks making her look surprisingly innocent. “So… I guess that’s official then.” She laughed, unclenching her hands in her lap. She still couldn’t quite believe she had accomplished even that much- at this point, she wouldn’t have been surprised if Hoyt had admitted to having magical powers she didn’t know about.
She didn’t really know what to think now, that was for certain. It was like a weight had been lifted off of her chest, and something just told her this was right. She and Hoyt were meant to be together. She knew if she said it out loud it would sound insane- possibly even stalkeresque, considering they had only known each other for a few weeks and were just now dating- but Holly just had a feeling that Hoyt just might be it for her… and that thought was comforting beyond belief, after all she had been through.
|
|
|
Post by Hoyt Fortenberry on Jul 30, 2011 7:53:15 GMT -7
Wasn't hard for him to see the faint blush in her cheeks, a smile on his face as he stroked the blush with the underside of his thumb. It was a little surreal to him, considering that Hoyt had really only been with one other girl. How did he get quite so lucky? He knew he lacked the charm and good looks that his friend Jason had and yet he ended up with such beautiful women. Jessica was beautiful too, and even though she had broken his heart she would always have a place there.
That was as long as his thoughts about Jessica lasted, because as the words "I guess it is official" left her mouth it completely wiped any last lingering traces of the red haired vampire from his mind.
"You have made me a happy man, Holly"
He kissed the top of her head right then, leaning his chin on the top of her head as his hand ran through her long black hair. He was content, looking toward the window as the moon hung low in the sky. "It might be entirely selfish of me Hols, but I really don't want you to go home tonight"
|
|
|
Post by Holly Cleary on Jul 30, 2011 8:43:48 GMT -7
His fingers against her cheek were so gentle and so soft that Holly wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t dreaming. After all, Holly had never known anything but cruelty from men- and part of her was still waiting for the other shoe to drop with Hoyt. But every time she thought “this is it,” he did exactly the opposite of what she expected, further endearing himself to her. Surely he wasn’t setting her up to be hurt worse in the future? He didn’t seem to have it in him to do that, but Holly wanted to be prepared- not surprised.
"You have made me a happy man, Holly"
Holly smiled, encouraged by the look he was giving her. Hoyt radiated nothing but gentleness- she knew that it was unlikely, but she wanted so much for him to be the person that she thought he was, and not what experience had taught her to expect. “You say that now.” She joked softly, resting her head against his chest as he played with her hair. She felt safe- something even Hallow had not been able to give her.
"It might be entirely selfish of me Hols, but I really don't want you to go home tonight"
And there it was, the other damn shoe. Holly shook her head as she closed her eyes, forcing herself to keep her breathing even. He doesn’t know, She reminded herself. He doesn’t know what those words mean to you. “I can’t.” She said softly, her voice almost inaudible. It wasn’t even Hallow holding her back now, though she knew Hallow would be livid if she didn’t come back tonight. “I’m not… I’m not ready for that.”
|
|
|
Post by Hoyt Fortenberry on Jul 30, 2011 9:43:27 GMT -7
“You say that now.”
He actually chuckled slightly, still running his fingers through her hair. "I'll say it a million years from now" A million years from was a bit of an exaggeration, but it was a harmless one. However, the mood in the room had changed when he said that he didn't want her to go home tonight.
“I can’t.”
He eased away enough to look at her in the eyes. It wasn't that he was upset, he was just surprised.
“I’m not… I’m not ready for that.”
"Who hurt you, Holly?"
They hadn't talked about her past a whole lot, he really had no idea about who she had been with or what her home life was like. There was still so much he had to learn about her and that was when he realized he was moving way too fast. He felt bad, and that was reflected in his blue eyes as a soft sigh left his lips.
"I apologize Holly. I don't mean to be pushy or try to move as quickly as I am. I know I promised you we would take things slow - I guess I'm not being a very good boyfriend am I? It is alright if you don't want to tell me, I just want you to know that you can trust me. "
He didn't know what he could do besides be there for her, and respect her boundaries, but even now he felt like he was really screwing things up. And that killed him, because he didn't want to lose her.
|
|
|
Post by Holly Cleary on Jul 30, 2011 10:38:22 GMT -7
"I'll say it a million years from now"
“Only because you don’t know me well enough.” Holly joked. She had few qualms about who she was- for all the good, there was bad, too, and sometimes it was just too much for others to handle. She was sure the more that she got to know Hoyt, she’d see the same thing about him as well. They would just have to learn how to adapt as their relationship grew.
She had surprised him, she could tell when he moved- and Holly instantly looked away. She couldn’t help feeling bad- if he had been with any other girl, they would have been able to make a witty quip, or a flirtatious comment, but Holly just shrunk in on herself once again, wanting to hide like a turtle with a shell.
She was safer that way.
"Who hurt you, Holly?"
He was smart, she would give him that. Most wouldn’t be able to pinpoint that, instead seeing her as a prude or just leading them on. Holly was neither, but it was amazing what misconceptions ego would lead to. She should have known better.
Holly raised a hand to push her hair back again, silent for the longest time. Hoyt had been nothing but honest with her, while Holly had been less than forthcoming from the beginning. She had been afraid that she would scare him off if he knew the story, and the truth was, she had never told anyone all of it. Her aunt had known, but that was it- her parents hadn’t believed her, didn’t even know about Cody, and Holly had few friends to speak of. Hallow knew…. A little. She knew that Holly was running from her past, that it haunted her. But Hoyt… she owed him the truth, before their relationship would be built entirely on lies.
"I apologize Holly. I don't mean to be pushy or try to move as quickly as I am. I know I promised you we would take things slow - I guess I'm not being a very good boyfriend am I? It is alright if you don't want to tell me, I just want you to know that you can trust me. "
She shook her head, gathering herself. “It’s not your fault. I haven’t exactly made myself easy to read…” She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, forcing her face into a perfect blank as she directed her monologue to his shirt- it was so much easier than meeting his eyes, because then she would probably cry, and Holly was not a crier by any means.
“A while back, before I moved to Shreveport, I worked with this guy that I thought was really nice. We would joke with each other, get each other food on our lunch breaks, were just sort of friends, you know? There was one night we were working alone because the manager on duty went home sick, and he…” Goddess, this was hard. Holly swallowed and rubbed her eyes again. “He locked me in the back room and raped me repeatedly. My parents didn’t believe me, so I moved in with my aunt and had to deal with all this gossip and slander and… bullshit… until he was arrested and put in jail. As if that wasn’t enough, I found out that I was pregnant. I stayed with my aunt until Cody was born, and I just… I couldn’t do it. I look at my son, and I see David, and it… scares me what I’m capable of, so I left him with Liz and I went to Shreveport, where I met Hallow. She took me in, got me back on my feet, and someday… well, someday I hope I can be a good mother to Cody, but until then…” She shrugged. She was tense, but her voice was as placid as if she were talking about grass growing, no real emotion showing at all- other than her eyes, which were still fixated on his shirt as if it were the most important thing in the world.
|
|
|
Post by Hoyt Fortenberry on Jul 30, 2011 10:53:04 GMT -7
Hoyt listened silently as she told her story to him, knowing how significant it was to her. Even the fact alone that she was letting him in to a part of herself she kept hidden away had meant so much to him. There were different emotions however, as her story continued. Deep rooted emotions that immediately caused tears to welled up in his eyes. His eyes burned, getting blurry as she told him what she had gone through.
He hated David. He didn't know David and he hated him. He hated him for turning such a beautiful person into a withdrawn woman who could barely trust anyone anymore. When the last words left her mouth he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. He couldn't pull her close enough to his body, he wanted to protect her and shield her from any more pain - he wanted to take it all away.
"Holly, I am so sorry. I am so sorry you ever had to go through that. Such brutality, such a disgusting man, no wonder you are the way you are. Nobody would blame you. I certainly don't. You are the strongest woman I know to have gone through that and still have the courage to face every day. You have no idea how much strength it takes."
He refused to let go of her, he just wanted to hold her until the world went away. He was fighting back his own tears and his own anger. If he ever met David in person, he wouldn't hold back. Nobody deserved to live after doing that to a person. And then there was the matter of her son, Hoyt didn't even realize she had a child.
"You can you know, be a good mother to Cody. A strong and beautiful woman like you, Holly, both you and Cody deserve to be in each other's lives."
He truly meant it. Every last word.
|
|
|
Post by Holly Cleary on Jul 30, 2011 21:56:19 GMT -7
It was both very relieving and very horrifying to final tell someone that listened to her, all of it, and didn’t tell her she was a liar or that she deserved it (both things she had been told, ironically, by her parents.) As Hoyt pulled her close to him, Holly let him, resting her cheek against his chest and closing her eyes. How many times after it happened had she just wanted a hug from someone she knew, someone that she trusted not to hurt her? No one had ever done it, though- not until now- and that brought tears to her eyes. This sweet man, her boyfriend, was the first to really give a fuck about her.
It was then that Holly knew she really had stumbled onto something.
"Holly, I am so sorry. I am so sorry you ever had to go through that. Such brutality, such a disgusting man, no wonder you are the way you are. Nobody would blame you. I certainly don't. You are the strongest woman I know to have gone through that and still have the courage to face every day. You have no idea how much strength it takes."
“Why are you apologizing to me?” She asked softly, leaning her head back to get a good look at him. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” She shook her head at his compliment- if she had been strong, she wouldn’t be the way she was. She wouldn’t have backed down, or spent so much time running. She wouldn’t have abandoned her son. “I’m not strong, Hoyt. I’m just… trying to pick up the few pieces that the wind hasn’t blown away and make do.” She raised hand to gently touch her cheek, comforting him as best she could. Holly had lived with her own demons for a while- to have to share them with your lover when you weren’t expecting anything of the like, well, she imagined it was hard on him. If he was like anyone else, he would start to second guess every little thing he said or did towards her, afraid to break her worse than she already was. Holly didn’t understand the mentality- but she supposed that was how other people dealt with it. Isolate the victim as if it were a contagion, and maybe you’d be safe…
"You can you know, be a good mother to Cody. A strong and beautiful woman like you, Holly, both you and Cody deserve to be in each other's lives."
“Maybe someday I can.’ Holly agreed quietly. “Right now… he deserves better, and I can’t give it to him.”
|
|
|
Post by Hoyt Fortenberry on Jul 30, 2011 22:28:10 GMT -7
“Why are you apologizing to me?”
"Because I am sorry for what happened to you."
He was sorry for what had happened to her and if he could take it all back he would. Even when she said it wasn't his fault he simply shook his head - he hadn't meant it that way. It was the kind of thing people should apologize for, if you were sorry they had to go through what they went through. It really was true that everyone had a story that could make you cry.
Hoyt wanted to make Holly's ex boyfriend cry. And bleed. Even if it wasn't very Christian of him to think that way.
“I’m not strong, Hoyt. I’m just… trying to pick up the few pieces that the wind hasn’t blown away and make do.”
He brushed her bangs out of her face.
"You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for"
He meant that, he just wished Holly could see herself the way he had seen her.
“Maybe someday I can. Right now… he deserves better, and I can’t give it to him.”
"I am sure he will be waiting for you once you can, and I have a feel in my chest that it won't be that much longer."
|
|
|
Post by Holly Cleary on Jul 30, 2011 23:22:46 GMT -7
"Because I am sorry for what happened to you."
Holly pulled away from him, folding one of her legs underneath herself as she sat facing him on the couch. “Hoyt, I’m never going to say that what he did to me was okay. It wasn’t. It never will be. But you said it yourself- I chose how I could deal with this, and what I could make of it, and terrible was it was, I believe that what happened to me happened for a reason. I’m not sure what that reason is yet, and it’s not been fun trying to figure it out, let me tell you, but every so often, the Goddess shows me that I’m on the right path by throwing me little clues.” She reached out, taking his hand in her own, her fingers absently tracing his lifeline. “I’m supposed to be here, in Bon Temps. I’m supposed to be with you.”
She closed her eyes as he touched her hair again, pushing it out of her eyes for her. She had said more than she probably should have, but she wanted Hoyt to understand that she was coping- perhaps not well, perhaps not the best way, but she was dealing with her life and the repurcussions of it. She just hoped she could count on him to stay by her side as she did.
"You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for"
She smiled in spite of herself, leaning into his touch. She found it curious that she couldn’t get enough of it, like a plant soaking up sunlight. “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, Hoyt.” You’ll be good for me. I just hope I can return the favor.
"I am sure he will be waiting for you once you can, and I have a feel in my chest that it won't be that much longer."
“If that’s the case, I hope you’re right.” She did miss her son, even though he brought out memories in her that were less than pleasant. He was a sweet child, however, and someday Holly would be there like he needed her to be- but right now it was all she could do to keep herself afloat. She served her coven, she didn’t have a place of her own, and even her job didn’t really provide an income so much as a service to the one that was hosting her. Hallow had been generous, but Holly thought she might draw the line at having a small child around. “Maybe I can let you meet him sometime.” It was a promise of commitment from Holly, nearly as rare as her physical affection. She didn’t introduce her child to people lightly, especially men- but she had a feeling that even if things didn’t work out for them relationship wise, Hoyt would be around for a long time to come. Their paths were entertwined.
|
|
|
Post by Hoyt Fortenberry on Jul 31, 2011 9:40:00 GMT -7
I believe that what happened to me happened for a reason.
Hoyt had a hard time believing that. He couldn't find any reason in why that should happen to anybody. Even if it did bring her to him, he was sure that fate should of come up with another way for them to meet. Nobody should have to go through that, least of all somebody he cared a lot about.
“You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, Hoyt.”
A lot of people said that about him, but it meant even more coming from her. He meant what he said about her and Cody, he could tell that her son meant a lot to her. He imagined it was hard for her, to have made that choice to have someone else look after her child while she straightened her life out. He would help her, of course, in any way that he could. Couples did that for each other, and Hoyt was no exception.
“Maybe I can let you meet him sometime.”
He smiled brightly, leaning over to kiss her forehead gently. "That would make me very happy, Holly" Somehow, he knew that it was a big deal - a step she probably didn't take with many people. He knew himself that he was in this for the long haul, and he couldn't help but to laugh as another though entered his mind.
"And I'll do you the favor of not introducing you to my mother. She may be the only family I have, but trust me when I say she is one woman you would be better off never knowing"
As far as Hoyt was concerned he had no mother, but now that Holly and him were dating he knew his mother was bound to cross their paths.
|
|
|
Post by Holly Cleary on Jul 31, 2011 20:26:20 GMT -7
Holly could tell by the look he was giving her that he was incredulous, to say the least, and she couldn’t help it- she smiled, just slightly. “Everything- and I do mean everything, Hoyt- happens for a reason. Good or bad.” Christians believed that their God didn’t give them more than they could handle- and to an extent, Holly agreed with that- but she believed even more in the idea that for every horrible thing that happened to her, something that much more amazing would come along in its place. It was a simple show of the threefold law. “It’s just a matter of finding the good.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck gently as he kissed her forehead, finding it so easy to do all of the things with him that she had been scared to do before. She still didn’t think she was quite ready to share a bed- and she knew she probably wouldn’t be for a long time- but this… this was a phenomenal step for her.
"That would make me very happy, Holly"
She nodded slowly. It made sense, the two most important people in her life meeting one another. If things did work out with Hoyt- and she had a feeling they would- then Cody would need to meet him. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but sooner rather than later. Besides, she might be jumping ahead of herself a bit, but Cody needed a male role model in his life. Holly could do a lot for him, but that was one thing she couldn’t do. “It would make me happy, too.”
"And I'll do you the favor of not introducing you to my mother. She may be the only family I have, but trust me when I say she is one woman you would be better off never knowing"
“What about your father?” Holly asked curiously. She had never had a good relationship with her parents, and it had certainly been severed when her son was born, but she knew better than to believe that someone as sweet and good as Hoyt became that way by sheer dumb luck. Somewhere down the line, he had had someone to guide him- and she was curious about who that person was so she could thank them properly. “Mine aren’t worth knowing, trust me.”
|
|
|
Post by Hoyt Fortenberry on Jul 31, 2011 20:48:27 GMT -7
“Everything- and I do mean everything, Hoyt- happens for a reason. Good or bad.”
So she had caught on to what he was thinking that quickly? He would admit that he was impressed she could read him so well. However, it wasn't reassuring to him, he still thought it shouldn't of happened and that the 'fates' should of picked a better way. “It’s just a matter of finding the good.”
A matter of finding the good. He was actually quite good at that, if he would say so himself. He found good in pretty much everybody, even in those that forced you to look a little harder. Almost everybody, he had yet to find any good in Hallow. Holly had pulled him away from any thoughts he had about Hallow when she said it would make her happy too - and he smiled.
“What about your father?”
His father. Hoyt took in a deep breath even when Holly reassured him that her own parents weren't worth knowing either. It was hard to talk about his father, especially seeing he only found out the real truth about his father's death last year.
"He died when I was young. For years my mom told me that he died protecting the family from a burglar. After some real crazy stuff happened last year I found out that he didn't die protecting the family from any burglar, he had actually shot himself. My mom lied to everybody, including me, so that she could collect the insurance money."
That was the type of woman his mother was, and that was another reason he didn't want her involved in his life anymore. He could only imagine the things she would say about Holly, and he didn't even want to take the chance.
|
|
|
Post by Holly Cleary on Jul 31, 2011 22:04:35 GMT -7
"He died when I was young. For years my mom told me that he died protecting the family from a burglar. After some real crazy stuff happened last year I found out that he didn't die protecting the family from any burglar, he had actually shot himself. My mom lied to everybody, including me, so that she could collect the insurance money."
“Oh Hoyt, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” Well now she felt terrible, that was apparent as she hung her head slightly. What sort of person did that to their child? Even Holly had told Cody that his father was a bad man, someone that had done wrong to others- but that didn’t mean she loved him any less. She knew it wasn’t the most conventional approach, and she knew a lot of people would judge her for her handling of it, but she challenged them to step into her shoes any day and see how they coped. So far, Cody was doing just fine.
She wrapped her arms around him tightly, pulling him into a hug. Nobody deserved that treatment, least of all a child, and Holly knew that if she ever met his mother, she’d be certain to have her say about it. “Seems we both got the last pick for family trees.” She joked humorlessly, trying to lighten the situation. “I guess we’ll just be each other’s family.” She rested her head against his shoulder, still holding onto him as if she was afraid to let go. She knew she had to be getting back to Shreveport soon, back to Hallow and her life, but Holly did not want to leave Hoyt. She wanted to stay there forever, with him, and forget the world outside even existed.
If only she could.
“Hoyt… I need to be getting back to Hallow.”
|
|
|
Post by Hoyt Fortenberry on Jul 31, 2011 22:35:16 GMT -7
“Oh Hoyt, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
Hoyt shook his head, he couldn't for one minute have Holly feel sorry for him when she had been through much much worse.
"It is nothing compared to what you have been though. "
Her hug still felt good though, even as her words echoed through his head and he actually laughed.
"Yeah, I guess we got the short straws"
He really didn't want her to go.
“I guess we’ll just be each other’s family.”
He couldn't help but to kiss her again after that. Pressing his lips against her's and pulling her close. He really had found the woman he would be with for the rest of his life.
“Hoyt… I need to be getting back to Hallow.”
As much as he hated it, he had to let her go. He nodded as he stood up, and gave her his hand. "I understand. Shall I see you tomorrow?"
|
|
|
Post by Holly Cleary on Jul 31, 2011 23:19:46 GMT -7
"It is nothing compared to what you have been though.”
“That doesn’t make it any less terrible.”
She was relieved to hear him laugh, and it coaxed a smile to her own lips, and she relaxed as he pulled her into another kiss. She didn’t want to leave, it was evident, but she finally managed to pull herself away.
"I understand. Shall I see you tomorrow?"
She slid her hand in his, but shook her head. “No. Tomorrow is circle. I’ll… I’ll try for Monday, okay?” It wasn’t a promise, but she’d shut the store down early if she had to. She wasn’t about to give up Hoyt for too long. “I’ll call you tomorrow, though.” She came to a pause at the door, standing on tiptoe to kiss him one last time. “Sleep well.” With a small smile, she was gone.
((closed))
|
|